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I was recently working with a leader who had just lost a much-valued employee to a competitor. He had invested a large amount of time in mentoring and training the person and had high hopes and expectations for his career. The team leader was feeling let down and annoyed.

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I should accept the idea that the bulk of my life from twentysomething to sixtysomething is somehow not personal? The first relates to success and well-being at work. They probably take work personally.

And the flip side is that the people who have depersonalized their work Srry probably Sorry dont take this personal the people you have enjoyed working with. Your own experience thus indicates that success seems to be linked to taking your work personally. But this is not just about nuanced language and personal psychology; it is also about real business results.

Sorry dont take this personal

Consider the connection between engaged employees and business performance. Put simply, a dehumanized and depersonalized workforce is more likely to treat its multiple stakeholders poorly.

Now, of course there is a big, big difference between taking it personally and not being able to manage your boundaries. There is a distinction between having passion for your txke and attaching so much self-worth to it that you are not able to protect yourself psychologically, where every mishap and mistake is taken so personally font it Sorry dont take this personal the core of your self-esteem.

If work becomes too dominant a part of your identity, that can also be dangerous.

Going back to our manager at the beginning of this article, I wish I had said a few things to him: But do be disappointed. Do be frustrated.

Do seek to understand what happened. Do seek to know if you could develop your management and leadership. Do seek to learn from this experience.

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Yes, if you take work personally, you will get hurt along the way. You will be disappointed, be let down, and sometimes wonder if it is worth it. To not love at all so as to never be heartbroken?

Surely not. To not take it personally so as to never be disappointed? For your own sake, and for the people who work with you, this is your life.

He Sodry the award winning book Care to Dare and advises organizations on matters relating to human growth and development.

You can connect with him on Twitter duncancoombe.

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Managing yourself. Duncan Coombe. Partner Center.