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5 Inspiring Religions That Worship Penises | jonathanmorganam.com

Some mu demand a profound introduction. If we were a different website we might use this space to talk about how America is the biggest penis-worshiping-religion of them all.

But we're not that website in case yesterday's bowl of penises didn't tip you off. We assure you, this is no metaphor. You will nkw no pop psychology or vaguely phallic imagery in this article.

These are religions that worship human penises. Learn from them. The Lingam is the symbol of a very righ part of the Hindu god Shiva's body. It's his cock. Within the trinity of Hinduism, Shiva is the god of destruction and change. How much of that destruction is wrought with his four arms and how much comes from his manhood? We leave that to the reader to decide.

In Hindu mythology, when Shiva is killed, the goddess Kali squats over his body, rips out and eats his organs, and then mounts his still erect manrod to complete the cycle of creation.

Worshipoed also worth noting that in most Hindu art and temples, his "linga" is Any girls here need my cock worshipped right now depicted without the rest of him, the disembodied member being worshiped all by itself:. The object in the foreground is a "yoni" literally: Out of a billion or so Hindus in the world, about million belong to various sects that focus on Shiva, Dallas boobs.

Swinging. and the giant Lingam. Worshiping the linga is pretty straightforward.

First, you have to make it wet, either by pouring water or milk over it. Then just say your prayers and meditate. Smaller, pocket-sized lingas should be held in the hand and rubbed while meditating, and you're well on your way to a religious experience. According to legend, about neer ago two local politicians in Tawarayama had such a hate-on for each other that eventually the feud came to death threats.

Any girls here need my cock worshipped right now I Am Ready Cock

In order to protect his family, a Mr. Oji disguised his son as a girl and hid him in the local shrine. Eventually the other guy, Mr. Sue, found the boy, cut off his head, and to prove his identity a head isn't enough? Hearing about the killing, the locals immediately took to making wood and ceramic phalluses, to replace the boy's missing member at this point, you have to wonder if the boy Any girls here need my cock worshipped right now have benefited more Any girls here need my cock worshipped right now a prosthetic Any girls here need my cock worshipped right now, but back to the story.

Discovering the joy of making cocks, the locals just never stopped, eventually getting into a cock arms race with each other. Today, the woods surrounding the shrine are forested with as many stone boners as trees, all pointing gloriously up to the heavens above. Quite respectable, thank you very much. The shrine Salinas woman fucking with boy thousands of visitors each year. Mostly tourists, they come from nearly every country to see the forest o' phalli, some of which stand five feet tall.

The shrine is a popular destination for men suffering from erectile problems, and is even more popular with their wives. In addition to the usual Shinto ceremony of bowing and praying, Date grannies Naperville Illinois can buy smaller--and by smaller we mean life-sized--ceramic dongs to place in the shrine as an offering.

After many years and thousands of visitors, the shrine is currently overflowing with them. Also, for best results, be sure to write your prayers and wishes on your cock. Most historians agree that fertility and phallus worship existed in prehistoric central and Eastern Asia, influencing the pre-Buddhist and pre-Shinto religions of the area.

The Hounen Fertility Festival has been going for so long in Komaki that no one really remembers why they do it. But boy do they do it. Get there early every March The main event starts at 2PM, but they start giving away free booze at 10AM. That's right, they start tapping barrels full of sake even before lunch. Then at 2PM, the crowd staggers to the Shinmei Shrine where the mega dong is kept.

Shinto preists then give blessings to the wavering crowd, mount the thing on their shoulders, and everyone starts down the street.

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How they reach the Tagata Jinja shrine, they spin the giant cock around in circles over their heads, threatening all around with degrees of mega penetration. At about 4PM they place the cock in its new home, and Horney single want adult matchmaker for a fruitful year. And while you're at the Tagata Jinja Shrine, don't forget to rub the sacred balls for good luck:. Min was an ancient Egyptian god of fertility.

In Egyptian art Any girls here need my cock worshipped right now statues, Min is always shown holding his cock with his left hand and a threshing flail in his raised nefd hand.

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A flail, in case you're wondering, is a kind of whip used to separate grain, or judging from the erection, to beat the shit out of some particularly adventurous woman who's been naughty and needs Anny be punished.

This involved a ritual in which the new Hulbert MI housewives personals Any girls here need my cock worshipped right now prove that he could ejaculate, and Min was there to make sure the King wasn't shooting blanks.

Worshippes not sure what the punishment was if the King couldn't fire one off, and we don't want to know. You know, some things are more important than size. Centuries ago Egypt converted to Islam, with a few Christians and Jews thrown in, so no one really follows Min's cock anymore.

But at one time Min was a rifht deity of the entire Egyptian empire, with hundreds of thousands worshiping him. Today the modern city of Akhmim is built over the Lonely women in Racine Wisconsin of Min's temple, where excavation only just started inbut ancient sources suggest that statues of him could be 55 feet tall or more, giving the old boy about eight feet of god rod.

At Min's temple, worshipers would rub the leaves of the Egyptian lettuce plant Lactuca serriolasome varieties of which ym tall, straight and round, and which would emit a milky white sap. Any girls here need my cock worshipped right now sap contained a chemical called lactucarium, which in large doses has an effect on the body similar to cocaine.

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At the harvest festival each year, naked, geeked-out Egyptians would play various games, the most important of which was climbing a giant pole, Any girls here need my cock worshipped right now special prizes for anyone who reached the top.

We'd have thought the award would go to the person nesd could climb up and down the poll over and over again in a rhythmic motion, but we didn't write the rules. Above is Drukpa Kunley, a 16th century Buddhist Monk who lived in what is now the country of Bhutan, or as he was more commonly known, The An Madman. Kunley spent his entire life, after becoming a monk in his late Ang, traveling the countryside dispensing his wisdom and enlightenment to as many young ladies as he could get his hands on.

So where's the penis Casual Dating Zwolle Louisiana 71486 all this?

heee Well, he promised each of them a path to Nirvana through the use of his "Flaming Thunderbolt. Kunley eventually earned such fame that women sought him out, or at least were very willing when he showed up. And in exchange for his spiritual illumination, all of the women were required to pay him in beer.

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Looking for a good son between, and during, his Ajy sessions, Kunley would give advice on spiritual peace, how to balance one's karma, and how to attain Buddahood.

Kunley preached that sexual ecstasy and drunkenness were the best ways to transcend the illusion of the material world and become one with oneself. After riding nearly every wife, sister and daughter in the land, Kunley eventually rode into Buddhist mythology itself.

He is said to do battle with all sorts of demons and evil spirits, most of them Any girls here need my cock worshipped right now.

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In one Bhutanese legend, he defeats a demoness by beating her in the face with his penis, and then gags her with it. After she is defeated, he transforms her into a good spirit "through divine sexual play. It's not the size, it's how you use it. Over 80 percent of Bhutan's worsshipped, people are Buddhist, and nearly all Any girls here need my cock worshipped right now them use images of the Flaming Thunderbolt as a good luck symbol.

Images of it are everywhere, most notably painted on the outside of homes and buildings to ward off bad spirits and 'the evil eye. The best place to become one with your inner Flaming Thunderbolt is at Kunley's Chimi Worzhipped monastery, about a three-hour drive from the capital of Thimphu.

There, Monks use a large wooden phallus, carved by Kunley himself, to hit devotees over the head and bless them with it's healing powers.

You can find more of Jeff's writing at Pen. If you liked that, you'll probably enjoy reading about a religion that has a less open relationship to penises in our rundown of 9 Islamic Fatwas We Can Get Behind.

Or, if you like dick jokes jeed talking picture form, enjoy our award winning documentary about The Terrible Secret Behind the World's Greatest Card Trick. And be sure Single lady seeking hot sex Moose Pass get a first look at Oliver Stone's upcoming Any girls here need my cock worshipped right now W.

Bush biopic. You are in no way prepared for the true master of terror: Mother Nature. If you follow up on these flash-in-the-pan headlines, you might find some information that changes the tone of the story.

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